My two new followers – thank you!
So, life as it is…
Boring. Completely and utterly dead. Staple-your-eyelids-to-your-eyebrows-and-enjoy-the-pain dry. Absolutely nothing to write home about, fellows.
Life as it is, is not as it should be. Yet, I feel as if this is fine. This is how life is suppose to be right now. Perhaps the near future isn’t going to be half as monotonous.
I have no idea what’s going to happen in the near future, one can only hope.
In this dry desert of a life, I feel the lively fountain of creativity overflowing! It is kinda weird, you know, being this bored and completely lifeless on the outside and feeling the glowing heartbeat of imaginativeness flowing through you on the inside. Odd.
My mind – gosh! – is bursting with 984552852114455450004454875,0 words per minute, I am definitely going crazy.
I’m trying to get my mind straightened out, like, ghd straight, but nah. The buzzing continues and no one around me even knows. The people around me are very dull, you see. They’re the ones that mostly contribute to this greyness in the air and everywhere.
How? How, my friends, do I? Me? Fight against everybody. How do I truly become myself?
I’ve had a problem with who I am. My personality type is killing me! I’m so sad and melancholy all the time, I don’t know how to speak for myself – I’m a scaredy cat! – I aim to please and keep the peace, but I know that I’m completely stuck and I need to get out. Now.
I look around me and see these established people, they know who they are. Their hair is done great, their faces know no spots, they are dressed perfect in business attire…how do I get there? Fuck.
You see, I’m just a girl who hopes to become a woman who knows who she is in herself and the world. Who hopes to be courted a man who was once a boy but grew up and now knows who he is ( and other people know who he is as well). And we, together, will have direction.
What am I talking about?
Guys, I am a mess. A galaxy of organized chaos. In this world, in this world and all its mishappenings. It’s all bigger than me. Its bigger than us. Look around you, what do you see? I can assure you that you’re not seeing all of it.
We try. We all try to push ourselves forward and upward, but I feel its a chasing after the wind if we cannot look down again, reach out our hand and pull up a fellow human being. Humility is key. Yet there is none.